"DAH-BEE-DUS." And with that latest failed

"DAH-BEE-DUS." And with that latest failed attempt at enunciation, Wilford Brimley's agitated speech coach stormed out of the trailer and moved on with her life.
She found a part time job cleaning up after old men at the retirement home, and one day, her gift for speech-coaching came to her again. She taught a 92 year old how to say
"I shit my pants again". Except he had no teeth so it came out "I thit my panth again". You took things one day at a time in the retirement home. The one highlight was the mandolin
smashing session when the residents pretended to be The Who. Well, I say "pretended," but one or two of them really believe it. It's sad to see a 90-year-old trying to
do a windmail guitar strum and fall over backwards. The lead put in his choppers and grabbed an IV stand like a mike. "TALKIN' 'BOUT MY GENTRIFICATION!" Nurses tried to get him to
do a stage dive and he leaped into a doctor performing a triple bypass. Blood sprayed in all directions like a
like broken tubing at a vampire hookah party. Oddly, greenish goo started squiting out in place of the blood and i realized i was on a Nickelodeon mashup of Punk'd
and You Can't Say That on Television. But with the realization that he'd just been hoaxed, that meant that Sarah hadn't been lying; she was really in danger, and only I
knew where she had been earlier in the day. I left the crowd without an explanation and jumped in my car. The road to her campsite was deserted, Sarah's trail was easy to follow
because she had really, really long pigtails and this sort of grotesque red hair. When we got to her hideout, we found striped stockings & leg shaving equipment, but she was gone.

Started: 2011-05-28 00:56:47
Finished: 2012-05-03 02:29:10

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?