Terry was good at really chess. In fact,

Terry was good at really chess. In fact, he was something of a prodigy. Of course you'd never know it since
like Yoda he talks. "Be5 R2d2" would have made Bobby Fischer's head explode. He was also good at
checkers, but oddly he could never make a living at that game. His years of high stakes Extreme Checkers barely paid for
the room above his grandparents' garage. He was desperate. He tied his shoelaces together and
waited for him to fall on his face. But he was disappointed after he noticed he was in a wheelchair. How did he miss that?? Oh well, it was time to try something different: he
pushed the wheelchair down a flight of steps. That should do the trick.
Abraca-fuck-you, you disappear. My foot slipped on something unfortunate and the tilt made my fingers and toes ache. Vertigo is a bitch, but falling down steps onto a corpse can
actually be quite comfortable, depending on the cushiness of the corpse. Luckily, this carcass was hefty. It would have been preferable to have a fresher corpse, but I digress.
The best salad tongs are the ones we didn't think we'd be using, but with chances like these, I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to get a leg up on the competition. However
my assistant was an imbecile. He couldn't ladle a mushroom gravy onto a mashed potato to save his life. After all he was a retired P.E. teacher. If only Anne wasn't ill. Damn it.

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