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I was walking along the street at around

  • I was walking along the street at around 10pm as I was returning home from my badminton class. Suddenly a van came towards me and some guys came out and hit me with a metal rod,
  • a death metal Rod Stewart, to be precise. Who knew that former classic rock crooner, Stewart, would've asquiesced to this growing trend of growling aggression. So I was hit by Rod
  • 's stray 3 wood shot which hooked when it should have sliced, or vice versa. I didn't recognize him in his death metal regalia as he charged at me swinging the club. "Rod Stewart!"
  • I said as he got another birdie. "Meet my cockateel", he said as the bird in the corner spoke English backwards. Backwards English sounded more like Gibberish than anything else.
  • "Oh, I've wanted to keep a cockatiel, but my flat doesn't allow pets. Well, I have had a cockatoo if you know what I mean." I tried to get the bird to whistle the Song of Healing
  • like we had practiced all morning. Instead the bird sang Frank Zappa's "Titties and Beer". The pastor looked at me like he was done with my shit. He walked away. I took the bird to
  • Norway for some reason that escapes me just now. I'm sure it was a hassle to get the proper documents for introducing an alien bird species. I don't recall if there was. It sang a
  • raunchy sea shanty before it flew into a wall, causing a fatal concussion. It wasn't may fault! So I took the parrot back to the pet store for a refund, but the stupid clerk
  • said I could practice taxidermy on the dead parrot and refused to refund my money. Pissed, I watched the clerk retreat to the back of the pet store. I opened all the pet cages and
  • released an army of fluffy minions into the store. The clerk came back, wearing a horrified expression. "What have you done?" they demanded. "Caused a cat-astrophe," I replied.
Started
2014-07-14 07:31:05
Finished
2021-12-06 07:01:34

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Dec 06 2021 @ 14:56

    Nice ending, BC!

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