He was the perfect man. Sitting across from
- He was the perfect man. Sitting across from him on our 1st date, I admired his smile, the way his eyes twinkled in the candlelight, his laugh. Only 1 thing: Green slime was drippin
- g from his exposed third nipple. Okay, he was perfect except two things: green slime was dripping from his exposed third nipple & he had large black bruises all over his vestigial
- self. I learned that the secret slime word that activated his third nipple/slime faucet was "um", so I'd um until he'd take his slime-drenched shirt off. "So, um, deary, how was
- slime shot out of his chest like a canon. It thwomped me in a goop-deluge and when I screamed some of the slime went in my mouth. That's when I got angry. You won't like me when
- I'm angry becaue I get, you know, really shouty. I yelled cutting comments at him gloopily. I took my cheese & onion sandwich & rammed it into the nozzle of his chest slime cannon
- The vacuum sounded like a leaf blower. The noise police arrived and arrested him. His sneezes were too loud. A muffler was installed. It cost 600 dollops and was paid for by Philip
- Glass. His daughter-in-law, Jan Brady-Glass, was a nuclear engineer who just happened to sideline as a sound engineer for a Blue Clyde tribute band called The Barrier. She modified
- her adjusted gross income to reflect the high bills she had paid to hotels across the country while The Barrier had toured. Jan Brady-Glass may have been a rocket scientist, but
- she was no lover...nor was she a dancer. Distraught, but optimistic, Jan decided to take Ballroom Dancing Classes with Fredricka Astaire (No relationship) and sell her body to the
- circus. Mind you, she didn't actually JOIN the circus, she just sold her body to it. That made her a lot of money, but having lost her corporeal body, money became useless to her.
- Started
- 2013-06-22 00:21:21
- Finished
- 2018-12-28 02:29:03
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Flopp Jan 02 2019 @ 16:37
There’s a life lesson in this... uh somewhere...