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I wrestled a bear once. It wasn't what you

  • I wrestled a bear once. It wasn't what you think, a bloody tooth-and-claw academy award winning battle for suvival. Oh, no. Let me explain... I was going camping with my
  • cousin when out of a rasberry bush cluster comes this ginormous bear. I swear when it reared up on it's hind legs it was about 10 feet tall. I peed myself which later on helped me
  • when my cousin slipped on my pee on the slick rocks causing him to fall. The bear caught up to him and started to maul him while I got away to take the sad news to my aunt & uncle.
  • "Auntie Em, I have something to tell you!" "Yes, yes, Dorothy, I know," Auntie Em said, "The screen door hit your head." "No!" Dorothy tried to tell her that a bear ate her son,
  • but Aunt Em held up her hand: "Me first, Dorothy. I've just bought the most delightful bear rug. I'll cherish it as long as I live!" Shit. Gotta make up some other death for cuz.
  • Aunt Em and Dorothy died of ... of? Oh oh I got it canker sores. They started in the mouth after too many suckers with the lollipop guild and spread all over there body. Too bad th
  • -e land of Oz there are no doctors. Only witches and wizards, and that's not the same thing. So Dorothy and Aunt Em had no-where to go when their canker sores became fatal.
  • But thats impossible, you may say, "Canker sores heal by themselves." Which is mostly true, however Dorothy and Aunt-Em had had a special dosage of "Fatal Canker Sore" potion, made
  • Arsenic and old lace the preferred treatment per Doctor Oz. Oprah had successfully used it when TPM climbed her leopard sofa onstage and clawed through the upholstery. Dorothy
  • pouted, still pining over Scarecrow. Oprah couldn't get a word out of her. The live broadcast: "Dr Oz Reunites Oz" was a disaster. This was definitely not a favorite thing.
Started
2017-02-26 19:35:56
Finished
2017-04-13 10:54:11

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    mporkwing Apr 14 2017 @ 22:11

    So when you wrestle bears you get cankers sores??? OMG now I know and knowing is half the battle. Where's my carmex?
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Apr 15 2017 @ 15:29

    Wow, the Bear story did turn out pretty epic, and maybe it could get an academy award? Who'd play Dorothy, the Bear, Cuz?

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