19

He was savagely scraped by the sympathy of

  • He was savagely scraped by the sympathy of fate. He mistrusted mankind.
  • He became a crazy cat guy. You know the type: crazy, lots of cats, male. The postman knocked loudly. "Mr. Exum, your mailbox is full of cats. May I remove them?" His big mistake
  • was standing on the front porch when I opened the door. My cat hording came to an apex when the main pile of cats fell forward onto him, spilling outside like curdled milk.
  • Oy! The smell! It was sour, warm & vomity all at once, assaulting his senses as he lay beneath the pile of mewling pussies. "This is all your own damn fault!" I reminded him. "You
  • shouldn't have fed them that ice cream. How am I going to get rid of that smell?" The countless cats covering me started and purring and snoring. I was going to be here awhile.
  • I was eventually smothered to death by all the cats. My spirit melded with theirs.I was a man on the inside, but a cat on the outside.I also acquired super powers. I was CatManDo.
  • Even though I'd just become a superhero, my arch-nemesis CatManDon't was ready with a spray bottle. "Hiss!" I shouted glibly -- I'd have to get used to being a cat later. "Not so
  • fast". I pulled out a big bag of catnip which swung gently in the breeze.
  • Or rather I tried to. Mr. Snuffles was not having ANY of that as evidenced by the font of blood pooling in my sock. "Damn you PetSmart Adoption Center!" I cried.
  • There was no point in trying. Adopting a puppy at PetSmart was a more violent affair than I realized. I gave up and brought home a goldfish instead. Oh, and my blood-filled sock.
Started
2014-05-10 15:34:13
Finished
2016-01-20 22:22:25

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jan 21 2016 @ 15:06

    http://foldingstory.com/s59ny/

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