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Don't wake up. Waking up means realizing

  • Don't wake up. Waking up means realizing that the nightmare doesn't end. Nothing is real. Everything is a dream. Don't wake up. Don't open your eyes.
  • Why open your eyes to a harsh, cold, Orwellian reality when you can just stay in your own delusions? After all, the world is a happier place when you dream. The bluebirds sing,
  • cheerfully as they flutter from tree to tree. The grass is always greener and you can hear the bubbling of the small pond nearby as well as the
  • humming sewage system dumping its contents into the clear stream leading to the pond. "Remember the days before the sewage system?" Old Lady Burbur reminisced. "It was
  • awesome to dump a deuce into chamber pots, then empty them into the stream ourselves. Who dares to deny us this pleasure?" Old Lady Burbur shook an angry fist at the sewage plant.
  • Below the stream burbled withfish fecundly. The sewage plant turned the villagers effusium into expensive fertiliser which they sold back to the villagers. Old Lady Burbur fumed, "
  • Snuffle my effluvium! One of my many minor miasmata. My most restrained harangues & diatribes beat this 'odorless fertilizer'." Melons around Old Lady Burbur swelled as she spoke.
  • The muskmelon opened its mouth and yawned so loudly, it made the news! The canteloupe said, "Didn't your mum tell you to cover your mouth when yawning?" Old Lady Burbur yawned too.
  • It was contagious. A nearby news team, doing a story on the rising prices of produce, started yawning, as did random passerby. "It must be a slow news day," said Lady Burbur.
  • It began to look the city might die of boredom. So when a local bank was robbed and a hostage situation ensued, everyone was greatly relieved. Well, almost everyone.
Started
2016-03-20 20:48:52
Finished
2016-03-23 17:23:44

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