There once was a lawyer who lived in a tree

  • There once was a lawyer who lived in a tree
  • For a few minutes to attract a cute tree loving cocktail waitress. Then he discovered it was not trees she loved but hard wood. So he came down from his balsam wood tree and moved
  • heaven and earth to win her heart. He would do anything for the love of the cocktail waitress, anything except eat kettle corn. He was a woodland god and had his pride, after all.
  • He got a date with her & she insisted they visit the circus.When she got a big bucket of kettle corn to share under the big top Pan silently revulsed but her little cocktail dress
  • looked great on him so he let it slide. The first act was the trapeze, Pan's personal favourite. His date, on the other hand, looked bored. He wondered whether he was supposed to
  • Look bored as well. He wondered if maybe he did look bored even though he didn't feel bored. He recalled that line from that Butthole Surfer's song about never knowing what you loo
  • K like through other people's eyes. What about what you smell like through other people's noses? Or sound like through their ears. I bet I sound wheezy. I hate that. Embarassed now
  • That Wheezy and Sneezy were names of my mum's cats. Their kingdom spanned Highway 61, where Bob Dylan was waiting for them. He had some fresh homemade dinner for them. They knew it
  • wasn't laced with LSD but they accused Bob Dylan anyway. Some two decades later this incident would be used to justify the War on Drugs. Dylan was visiting my mum's cat's kingdom
  • when the cops battered down the door. Dylan thought: The drug charges! But the cops weren’t arresting him. One extended a pen and Dylan album. “Big fan! May I have your autograph?"


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