36

In a hushed and serious tone Jethro asked

  • In a hushed and serious tone Jethro asked Pastor Wheeler if he could have his car when the Raptures came. "I figure you ain't gonna need a Porsche and Scratch cayun't catch no 918
  • in the flats, y'know?" Pastor Wheeler grabbed his crotch and barred his teeth like a baboon. "You no take mirror," he screamed, his head spinning in circles. It was time for the
  • lobotomization to begin. In one swift motion Pastor Wheeler was on his back, constrained, and sedated. "This will only hurt for the rest of your life", the doctor cackled into his
  • phone, which was taking a sound recording. The drugs clouded Pastor Wheeler's brain, but in a moment of clarity the fog cleared. "I didn't give my consent to be recorded!" he said.
  • "But you did, Pastor Wheeler, you gave your consent 3 times since you've been here. We're very discreet because we need to be but that doesn't mean we don't take precautions. Safe
  • soldiers are the best soldiers you said that yourself" the general said while dancing. He was very angry Elmo because
  • Elmo, being a puppet, had no feet with which to dance with the general. The general lifted Elmo off his hand for a waltz, but this made Elmo wilt lifelessly. The other soldiers
  • glanced down and shrieked when they realized they, too, had no feet. Elmo tried to escape by slithering down the general’s pant leg, but slammed face first into the general’s steel
  • Ben Wah balls. They were big balls. So when Elmo unexpectedly ran into them there was some weight behind them. Elmo's felt mind was cast aflutter and the General's arm found his
  • crotch. “Elmo’s crotch feels good! Elmo likes—“ Swinging Elmo by his felt dick, the General threw him out a window, snarling. “I HATE idiots who refer to themselves in 3rd person!"
Started
2015-05-23 16:45:03
Finished
2021-05-20 20:12:48

4 Comments

  1. Avatar

    dookierouser May 23 2021 @ 17:13

    What do you call a crotch with no legs?
  2. Avatar

    Woab May 24 2021 @ 10:48

    There are a few possible answers ti that, each one more dreadful than the last.
  3. Avatar

    TarotGuy May 25 2021 @ 18:36

    What do you call a crotch with no legs? Call it anything you want, as long as you don't call it late for dinner!
  4. Avatar

    Woab May 27 2021 @ 11:36

    Why? Because it will take the legless crotch so long to get to dinner that the dinner might get cold?

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!