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I know from first-hand experience that certain

  • I know from first-hand experience that certain parts of that city smell of cat urine and
  • dead dreams. Stillborn dreams might be a better descriptor. If you were raised in this part of town, your hopes didn't ever have a chance to flourish at all. It was my home.
  • Toon town. I was mayor, sheriff and pharmacist. I've been living in toon town for years, under cover, at night. During the day I pretend to sell overpriced footlongs to
  • those who refuse to read my licensing agreement before signing it. Later, I point out that they were only renting the hot dog and now I had the right to reclaim it, by any means
  • biologically possible. As for the biologically impossible, Pamela Anderson
  • topped the list. From her bleached blond hair to her over-inflated breasts to her french manicured toes, Pam was an affront to nature. But in a bikini
  • she was worse. You could see where the fake stopped and the normal skin began. I scanned her with my eyes for anything that might not be fake. I found nothing. Her silicone
  • was so vast, it's immensity resembled a boundless, waste region of chaos. Everything about her was artificial. I could only ponder upon the horrifying implications as I
  • contemplated her saccharine smile of capped teeth. Her purple contacts made me skeevy, and her blond hair extensions transsformed her from my daughter into a would be stripper. Oh!
  • It is very tempting. I thank to Lord that she would be a stripper. That way I could satisfy my lust of sex with her. I could fuck her everyday. Well, she wasn't my real daughter!

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