I made a pilgrimage to Glenturret distillery

  • I made a pilgrimage to Glenturret distillery for two reasons: 1) The Naked Grouse was my house whiskey & 2) I had a mouse problem & wanted to hire their mouser softpaw Towser Jr.
  • the Third. He was a beast of a man, and a man of a mouser, if I've ever seen one. Which I hadn't before I met him, so moot point I guess? Any way, I brought Mr. Towser to my mice
  • colony so he could ride herd on those rapscallions. It'd been all well and good when it was just a little back-squeak and cheese sneak. But I needed a hardcore mouse whisperer to
  • get Richard Gere to read my script. It was about a painter who fought crime at night. Only, he had split personalities and was also a criminal. This led to a colossal
  • battle between the artist and his own creative output. During the day, he would leave messages for his perceived nemesis. At night, forgetting his daylight life, our protagonist
  • went to bed. Protagonists need to sleep too!
  • In an unexpected plot twist, the Protagonist was awoken by the Antagonist, who, in a dramatic monologue full of hyperbole, shared a biographical anecdote which foreshadowed
  • the painfully long-winded gloating the Antagonist would deliver when the Protagonist was at his mercy. Blearily, the Protagonist wondered why the Antagonist was in his bedroom at 5
  • a.m.? Then that the Protagonist realized his opportunity. Sneaking to the bathroom, the Protagonist returned with a can of shaving cream & carefully decorated the Antagonist's face
  • with a Santa beard. The Antagonist was overcome with jolly winter holiday cheer and could no longer maintain his angst against the Protagonist. They hugged and made up--for now.


Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!