"Follow me Avery. No, no please don't be

"Follow me Avery. No, no please don't be shy. As you walk along through these doors you will I hope soon find that WE posses the cure for all your ailments. You do have those don't
you? Anthill acne and formication?" Avery nodded. "Well Avery, allow my assistants to strap you in. Prepare the Raid cannon!" A large cannon descended from the ceiling, pointed at
the Pin The Tail on The Donkey game, and the fuse was lit. We waited with our hands over our ears for the "KA-BOOM"-- but it never happened. After looking at the fuse, we noticed
it was really a piece of Twizzler candy. Mmmmmm, I love strawberry licorice! I immediately began chewing on the licorice fuse when I learned that it had been laced with
Sildenafil citrate or some other kind of male enhancement drug. I was pitching a tent in no time and needed to get out of there to
hide the evidence, so to speak. But time wasn't on my side - before I knew it, I was
bricking up the spare room in the basement. With a white wash of paint, no one would ever know. I slept soundly until I heard a low pounding...
It was about one beat a second, very steady. The ventricular diastole was long. Did I detect a murmur? I improvised an EEG by dropping a copper wire down the clothes chute.
Yes...I listened very carefully...yes, it was...a slow heartbeat coming from the depths of my cellar. It was my own heart of darkness, my own madness, my own... I was interrupted
by a call from the office of Poe, Poe, Ripley and Conrad, demanding I cease and desist all heartbeat-related madness. So I did, and went mad from yellow wallpaper instead.
They surely couldn't believe me, no matter how I tried to explain my situation. I'd screamed at walls before, just to feel what it was like, to understand anew. This ruined that.

Started: 2012-08-30 03:41:32
Finished: 2013-03-15 01:21:45

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