Pastor Billy Bob's Bible: When God got done

Pastor Billy Bob's Bible: When God got done makin' all the varmints of Creeayshun, he was plumb tuckered an put up 'is boots, sayin' "This here's Sunday. Don't get up a sweat
over nothin', just kick back n' chill, folks." An' he meant it too, Ha-Lay-LEW-YA! Well, 'cept for PRAYIN' o'course - that goes without sayin'. Pastor Billy Bob scratched his itchy
chin and gazed fondly at the procession. "Now shall we get to prayin'?" he said. The girl sitting in the front rolled her eyes and crossed her legs. God, she hated church so much.
"And verily, I say onto thee, young lady of 23. As much as I vex you, you vex me more, and yea! I have the Lord, who's got my back!" When he said that she sat up. "Jesus is your ho
mey, your homeboy, your boy"? The preacher man answered smugly, "Yes, me & Jesus are best buds". "Ok", she said as she shot the preacher man several times. "Now I know who to kill
next." She hid the gun in her purse and went to the nearest car wash. She had to go on foot through the car wash because her car was filled with discarded hymens. "Are you Jesus?"
, a hobo asked her, thinking that she was walking on water. "No, she answered, "I am just another American with a gun who thinks I have the right to shoot anyone." The hobo wept
because she reminded him of his daughter, the Gas-Masked Socialite. He hadn't always been a hobo. Still GSM, as he liked to call her, was not a kook like this woman. "I'll kill you
and the possum you rode in on if I have to but can't we first have some of these fine hobo beans. That way we can fill our bellys and calm ourselves down." The hot can in the fire
swelled in the heat and exploded before we could stop it. Fiery beans pelted us, adding to our misery. It was comical, sitting there, covered in boiling-hot beans.

Started: 2015-02-14 21:04:19
Finished: 2025-09-25 19:44:37

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