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My sister woke me up this morning and said

  • My sister woke me up this morning and said that we were going to the mall so I got and went in my closet to pick out an outfit when I saw
  • jason with a chainsaw and an axe about to kill me when
  • his chainsaw ran out of gas. And his axe head fell off and smashed his toe. Jason stopped. His hockey mask hung like a question mark. So I ran
  • straight into Freddie Kruger's finger blades. This led me to reconsider some of my plans, but somehow I lingered like an unwanted guest, and began to receive different coupons
  • Man, was I sick of the push marketing from Groupon and Living Social! That's when the idea hit me: I would go live in the mountain forests and eat lichen, but first I needed
  • a cheap flight and a deal on the lichen to make sure I could afford the new lifestyle. I waited for days, but all I got on Groupon was a cupcake voucher and sailing lessons. Why
  • the was the incentive I needed to get a grip on my new life! With a cupcake in my hand and the ship's wheel in my clutches, I check the compass and headed
  • for the fabled Junkfood Island. Legend told it was surrounded by a kelp forest of gummy worms. Free ranging Ho hos and Animal Crackers grazed on fields of
  • bubble tape and slaked their thirsts at sparkling ponds of Fanta and streams of Yoo-hoo, and in turn were preyed upon by the ravenous apex predator, the mighty
  • antwerp.

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