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I could drink no more but the man kept buying.

  • I could drink no more but the man kept buying. Damn he was handsome. What could I do? Say no? If only I could say no. It seemed a curse of mine to always say yes. He took me by the
  • scruff of my neck and dunked my face into a bucket of Margaritas. I drank, but I didn't want to. How do I get into these situations. Free drinks, aggressive men
  • strual cramps, and fake Brian Wilson beards - I amaze myself sometimes. But my parrot, who formerly belonged to Dr. Phil, would echo lectures on why I should take computer classes
  • down at the local YMCA where there's a fantastic cracker buffet on First Fridays. Buoyed by my second-hand parrot's regurgitated advice, I summoned the fortitude to
  • devour all the crackers in the buffet until I was fit to burst with salty badness. I waddled through the YMCA hallways looking for a place to throw up,
  • & ended up floating face down in the pool when they found me. I'd ballooned out from all the salt & water looking like the Pillsbury doughboy. I was poppin' fresh & became posterbo
  • My cold lifeless eyes stared into the water as various sea creatures swam past me. My already bloated body had small chunks of flesh eaten away by the sea creatures curious about w
  • When Id heard the scuba diving trip was brutal,they weren't kidding!As I felt all consciousness fade away,I noticed something sparkling in the water.Id investigate,if I weren't dyi
  • ng. Death came to me so quick I haven't even noticed it. First dead man I found was Tupac. He was mad with this guy who made a hologram of him chase Michael Jackson's hologram.
  • But fancy light shows aside, Death wasn't so bad.They had a 24 hour laundromat and 50 cent coffee at the Waffle House (1 on every corner), so I felt right at home.
Started
2011-07-29 21:42:52
Finished
2014-12-22 22:46:01

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