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"Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!" yelled Santa

  • "Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!" yelled Santa Pirate. "Death from on high!" He launched a tactical nuclear missile from a robotic reindeer drone. The ExFed truck deployed anti-air
  • lasers which annihilated the terrestrial atmosphere. Life was extinguished save for simple aquatic organisms. Ten thousand millennia later, the first of the new land animals
  • were glorified sea-monkeys. Many had forgotten these prodigy in abandoned mason jars. Now, they were the only viable life on planet earth. They evolved into a superior species.
  • The meta-sea-monkeys hid the cloudy jars of their dreaming ancestors in secret caves around the world, then set out for the stars, hoping for a galactic meet-and-greet. The veils o
  • gratin was a kind of slimy cheese and potato dish served in a tavern that never closed. This is where the jar of meta-sea-monkeys ended up after the disgusting story I'm about to t
  • -ake to my grave. Suffice it to say that the meta-sea-monkeys grew a hundred times their size on the nuclear au gratin and terrorized the planet even though they were 4 inches tall
  • And my town was no exception. It was frightening to witness such ignorance among the sheeple. This was three years later, and by then it was too late. The villagers rioted until
  • they forgot what they were rioting about. "Meh", said one sheeple. *This is too much bother." The sheeple's loot was a new flat screen TV and a pair of shearers
  • The latter of which was stuck in a drawer for safekeeping and stayed there until the next thaw when the roses needed pruning. The brand new TV kept the sheeple company during
  • The late Sheeple fest where the roses that were pruned were worn as a fancy headdress. People brought the Sheeple offerings of woven bug wing dresses & danced gaily about them.
Started
2013-12-25 09:25:06
Finished
2016-11-08 12:37:38

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Rebbie Nov 08 2016 @ 13:42

    "Meee..eee.eeh." Sheeple transplanted from the galatic meet-and-greet only to be harrassed by meta-sea monkeys. What the??? Just go home all you Sheeple those sea monkeys are no good.
  2. Avatar

    BlastedHeath Nov 11 2016 @ 20:21

    We are the Sea Monkeys we warned ourselves about.

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