The Road is everywhere. Wherever you, the
- The Road is everywhere. Wherever you, the reader, are at this moment, there is a road, maybe several, nearby. Your whole life is on a road going somewhere & there might be no comin
- g back.” -Mindless Rantings of Lord Vacuity, Vol. IV. I closed my college text book. The year was 2909. “I can’t believe someone published this sh*t.” The semester was about him
- and I had about 3489 more volumes of Lord Vacuity's Collected Works to read and summarize the old-fashioned way. In 2909 reform school sucked, I tell you what. Not only was I
- plugged in to a Google-AI treadmill for 12 hours a day, but I had failed to invest in the FoldingStory IPO & watched in horror as my fellow folders reaped billions. In 2910 I hope
- that man will finally be able to communicate with donkeys. I've never shared my dream with anyone, thinking it too silly. But right then, I decided it was time to let the world
- hear me bray! And bray I did, full-throatedly and proudly. And the world listened. And the donkeys listened. And the world called me an ass. And the donkeys were insulted. But I
- brayed "The Bray heard Around the World". That had to be worth something. A campaign trumpeting me as a Write-In Candidate for President was launched. "The Ass This Country Needs."
- I thought my write-in campaign may have a chance if I chose the right VP. So I chose Jimmy McMillan (“The rent is TOO DAMN HIGH!”) and saw more interest in my candidacy. But Jimmy
- was dead. All I had was actually a cardboard standee to accompany me on stage, and a crude sock puppet to take to presidential debates. Nonetheless, "Jimmy McMillan" and I won all
- of the biscuits I could ever enjoy. Not to mention the appreciation of my fat turtle, Pickle.
- 2019-04-30 05:03:42
- 2023-03-11 17:50:00
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