52

I awoke with a start when I heard the cocking

  • I awoke with a start when I heard the cocking of rifles down the hall. It was just as I had always feared: the poodle poachers had come for Fifi.
  • What the poodle poachers didn't know was that I had trained Fifi to be a ruthless killer and had pumped her full of steroids and cocaine. The armed men opened the mail slot and
  • were simultaneously greeted and bid adieu by the frenzied, gnashing jaws of my pet Fifi, her razor-sharp canines unleashing a whirlwind of hellhound poodle fury on the poachers. I
  • sat back on my heels & observed the melee, pleased at Fifi's ferocity. When she finished gnawing on the last of the poachers, Fifi trotted over & looked up at me as if to say,
  • I need doggie shoes to go with my new doggie clothes. I rushed Fifi to the Pet Assessories store but they didn't have her size. It was an emergency
  • and they said dial 855-843-5656 to order doggie shoes. I prefer to talk to a real person or at least an Indian, but at least the robot did a dinosaur impersonation before transfer
  • ing me to the doggie shoe department. "Press 1 if your dog has small feet, press 2 is your dog has huge feet" Those are my choices? LuLu Pickles has medium feet, I think. Oh God,
  • I felt like Goldilocks, but knew I'd probably be eaten before I found the porridge that was "just right" In a panic, I pressed 1 to say LuLu Pickles needs shoes 4 small dog feet
  • The disembodied voice said " Shoes are currently unavailable for small dog feet. Press 2 for donkeys.Press 3 for..." I bellowed at the world and threw the telephone into the porrid
  • -geridoo (a device of his own making that emitted bothdelicious gruel & haunting tribal music at the same time). "If you'd like more options, press 9" echoed from the gruel spou
Started
2011-06-24 14:25:01
Finished
2013-02-23 16:40:08

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    jayursus Feb 23 2013 @ 16:40

    argh! FS malfuntion: last night should read "-geridoo (a device of his own making that emitted bothdelicious gruel & haunting tribal music at the same time). "If you'd like more options, press 9" echoed from the gruel spout."

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