The heart they pulled out of the cooler,

  • The heart they pulled out of the cooler, was from an Iraqi. A 20 year old who'd been wounded by a drone. The doctor took the heart and placed it in Dick Cheney's chest.
  • He carefully connected all the bloodvessels and finally closed the chest. Twenty hours later, Dick Cheney seemed to have recovered well. Until he started speaking.. أنا فعلا بحاجة
  • It was then that our surgeon exclaimed, "Oh crap, he's being possessed by Bin Laden's ghost! Someone call the Exorcist!"
  • Four years later, the ghost was completely exorcised. The Queen was so pleased that the surgeon was invited to tea with her. He accepted.
  • A fortnight before the event he was contacted by Home Office and presented with an interesting proposal. The moment he heard it he recognized it as the same plot as Death Race 2000
  • only different: instead of the Death Race 2000 theme cars, they had to race in kiddie pedal cars. Though allowed to run over people, you'd lose points if you didn't say "excuse me"
  • and tip your helmet. Though intended to make the Death Race more polite, this had a surprising effect. "Excuse me" became a vulgar swear. Now it was considered polite to say "Screw
  • you" when done a favor, but the use of the word "Please" was now considered reasonable cause for an all-out Donnybrook. Quickly the Death Race produced more casualties than the
  • Life Race. Not surprising, the one's racing to death managed it rather quickly. It's not hard. Some of them took a few Life Racers with them, but on the whole the Donnybrooks
  • just really wanted to retire in the hills. Raise a couple kids, get a tiny dog. Be a housewife, wash the dishes. Donnybrooks was a legend, and intended to retire as so.


Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!