What malady is this? What encramuria, what

  • What malady is this? What encramuria, what galabromancia, what fettuxionic meurblograkh?
  • What kilafromage, what buttfillages, what stargnostic, what zyxphobia? He knew the National Spelling Bee had been fixed for him after he won it after Round One. But why? He knew he
  • was the teacher's pet. He knew it the day she brought him to school & set him on her desk for all her students to admire. So he paid attention...& learned how to spell.
  • Whenever he gave a correct answer, some of the other students would toss him peanuts, which he caught with his mouth, throwing teach into paroxysms of delight: "My precious pet..
  • he would say, with a strange, almost sadistic voice, I can teach you something unique... But you should promise you don't tell anyone
  • about where I buried my poopy pants. Please, let's just keep it a secret.
  • I promise. The subject is untouchable. Your diaper dilemma is safe with me. My memory is extra absorbant and never leaks. I'll never let on what the X on this toilet paper marks.
  • Politically correct parents believed this and raised children to be obedient and quiet. This was something that would make Grandma Zggfghgffsky proud, but she was long dead.
  • Then it occurred to myself to ask myself if there was anything I could do to help my dead grandmother in changing her situation. Yes, I could shorten her death. Short dead sounded
  • rather endlessly abrupt. Then I asked myself why I was talking so much to myself and paying no attention to the new season of "Poppycock & Coddle, " and myself had no reply.


  1. LordVacuity Mar 26 2017 @ 17:50

    Because I don't coddle such poppycock.

  2. LordVacuity Mar 26 2017 @ 17:51

    But poopy pants might.

  3. LordVacuity Mar 26 2017 @ 17:52

    SlimWhitman promised not me.

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