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But the seven dwarfs were totally dysfunctional.

  • But the seven dwarfs were totally dysfunctional. They hid that from snow white for as long as they could. Dopey was the scape goat. No one was allowed to
  • reveal the truth about the seven dwarfs' dysfunctionalism. If Grumpy got cantankerous, Dopey upset him. If Sneezey expelled a giant booger, Dopey made him sick. Poor Dopey was blam
  • ed for everything. Dopey's psychoanalyst was a post Jungian reconstructionist positivist. He told Dopey, "You to discover your real archtype." Dopey decided it was Rumpelstiltskin
  • and he decided wrong, but by then the damage was done. "Duh, uhh, duh," Dopey said to the wench at the spinning wheel. "Give me the gold straw or I give you your first-born child."
  • "No, but we agreed you'd take it off my hands if I weaved gold straw. I don't want it back."
  • "Did you hear what I just said? It's cursed! It will literally kill me! I don't give a damn about the gold straw anymore, I just want you to take this and let me live!"
  • "Whoa, calm down, Rumples. Why don't you take a break from spinning the straw and have a rest in this nice, comfy, padded chair?" Rumply sighed heavily but finally agreed
  • . Rumples bowed his head down across his arms for a few moments, then looked up at me, his ancient eyes bleary."I'm tired. Ready to retire from straw spinning. Got my 401K ready &
  • some first born children as collateral. Property's cheap on the Costa del Sol since Spain tanked & Mrs Rumples is partial to Sangria. Yeah, I'm packing it all in & moving on."
  • "No!", screamed Bump Biggles, hitherto unmentioned in the story, as he leveled his revolver. Suddenly a shot rang out. Bump's shot echoed the first. The end came quickly.
Started
2011-10-01 14:05:14
Finished
2014-04-19 17:26:26

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Apr 19 2014 @ 19:46

    Welcome Arrrgggghhhhh! I was amused by the aside on Bump Biggles 'hitherto unmentioned'. So many questions though: Was Bump secretly ruffling Mrs. Rumples under the covers, or one of the parents whose kiddies Rupples had on collateral? Will we ever know?

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