44

My name is Death. I have watched the sun

  • My name is Death. I have watched the sun die a million times and know that I will always be alone. Thus humanity sleeps soundly, unaware of my suffering. Who weeps for death?
  • Time laughed at Death. "Having another mid-eternity crisis again, old friend?" Death was not amused. "You don't understand. I've reached my limit. I'm done. I quit."
  • "Oh, no," Time said, smiling. "Your contract's right here." Time set it in front of Death, who frowned. "There weren't that many zeroes before." "No matter. I forbid you to quit."
  • Death knew he had to kill Time, or at least demote himself to lower-level management. He said, "I refuse to kill a number of puppies that requires scientific notation." Time glared
  • and the stupid calculator watch on Death's wrist. Time sipped his hot chocolate and smirked. He decided to grant Death's wish. He chewed a little marshmallow and with great gusto,
  • conjured a time dilation vortex into a pair of ivory dentures.Then Time said to Death, "If you get Methuselah to wear these choppers he'll die & the Final Judgement will commence."
  • That sounded real heavy so Death just ditched it all and shuffled together a stack of meat, white bread, sardines, peanut butter, and marshmallow fudge into a big ass sandwich.
  • Death dubbed the sandwich, "Dante's Inferno Special", sold it at Dante's Pizza where you "have it delivered or go to Hell - and Hell is located at 3240 W. Armitage". It went viral!
  • Virgil said, "Forget about torture, I think you and me, bud, should go into the fast food biz!" Death replied, "Yes, but not you. You must return to limbo." "I love to limbo!", cri
  • ed Virgil. Death rolled his eyes. Not that he had eyes, but you know, figuratively speaking. The fools you meet in this line of work. "Yes yes, it'll be a hoot." he sighed.
Started
2013-10-22 12:55:14
Finished
2016-05-04 18:15:30

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman May 05 2016 @ 04:53

    Love this story great twist when ambikawolf brings in 'Dante's Inferno Special'. The address is the Pentacostal Church diametrically opposite Dante's Pizzeria on 3208 W. Armitage. So did someone there drive out the demon of diabolical pizza's? When I was in highschool I wrote a travel brochure for Dante's Hell listing all the great reason's to go: Meet some really fascinating people, boat cruise on the Stix, iceskate in the 9th circle. That sort of thing. Got an A. This story get's an A too - just my opinion!
  2. Avatar

    Dhanithecat May 05 2016 @ 08:05

    There is such a place and that was their ad. I never went but loved the ad.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!