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The day our mother announced she was pregnant

  • The day our mother announced she was pregnant again, we all came out of the closet.
  • We had to come out, it was getting awkward with 5 of us flaming homosexuals crammed up in one tiny closet. We gave poor mom such a scare she almost had a miscarriage! Her 6th baby
  • was no other than Chuck Norris, who won superpowers by sucking the souls of his unborn brothers. He then turned us straight and then
  • This man of power and strength of a thousand men lifted the damsel in distress, hair flowing and shimmering in the wind. It was a sight to see as it turns out that Lady Albeka was
  • A portly woman. A big boned woman. A hefty example of womanhood. El tubbo grande. Rubenesque and then some. So even he only managed to carry her to the door of the
  • submarine before plummeting to his watery death. "Big Ma", as she was soon to be dubbed, turned out to be a damned good submarine pilot, mostly because she couldn't climb out of
  • her own skin and reach depths anew. Big Ma was a member of Sgt. Lonely Hearts Club Band
  • and sang Ringo’s vocal on “With a Little Help from My Friends” with great enthusiasm. Problem was, Big Ma couldn’t carry a tune if it had handles, and the rest of the band plotted
  • to kidnap her. “What about a Magical Mystery Tour?” invited Paul. “She could be the Walrus,” exclaimed John. “Don’t be silly,” added George, “She’ll be Ringo’s Aunt.” And she was.
  • But she was already back in the USSR, firing up her yellow submarine with a little help from her friends. She just needed to avoid rag-tag groups of mop-tops from now on.
Started
2014-11-19 16:48:53
Finished
2020-04-26 13:11:24

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Apr 27 2020 @ 14:08

    This is really rather delightful.
  2. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 27 2020 @ 21:41

    Then Hanson happened.

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