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He couldn't sleep. He'd tried pills, counting

  • He couldn't sleep. He'd tried pills, counting sheep, flipping the pillow, rubbing one out, reading primary literature. After 3 days with no sleep he felt a crazed detachment
  • from the people around him and began to gibber in the subway on the way to work. Somehow he missed his stop and got off at th end of the line. This area of town was
  • known as the Mons Venus of Bakersfield. It was sweaty, hot and bumpy. It was a cheap trick to get out of oral if you know what I mean. But the bus had dropped him off here and now
  • his soggy lunch bag had begun sagging under the weight of 5 lbs of roast beef. he was annoyed by the burden of having to eat so much food all the time, but he was a big fellow so
  • he buckled down and got to business. Slowly he removed the five pound roast beef sandwich from the soggy brown paper bag, and took a bite. Heaven! Then, suddenly
  • transformation took place. Fibrous bristles sprouted across his snout. His back cracked like the sound of ripping cabbage. His caniness lengthed to tusks. The were-boar growled,
  • "If you dontfund McKey pool, I'll really get mad!" The community council was stunned. Ever since they had recognized Lycanthrope awarness week
  • people had been bitching at them to cease it, even though lycanthropes had much to provide the community and sorely needed the aid. Levis with tail holes weren't cheap or common,
  • which was why Billy was struck with his latest business venture idea. After all, how hard could it be to cut a hole in the back of a pair of pants? The answer was a simple one:
  • get unregistered gun, rob 7-11 for cash for gas to get to the tailor shop, make tailor cut hole at gunpoint, sell said pants on eBay. Piece of cake. (7 years in jail.)

2 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Sep 17 2011 @ 16:49

    A loosely knit story - I like it.

  2. 49erFaithful Sep 17 2011 @ 22:48

    I think we could probably get a nice advance from a publisher with this as the teaser. Maybe even a flick starring Harvey Keitel down the line?

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