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"I just realized I won 30 million dollars

  • "I just realized I won 30 million dollars at the lottery, so please forget my previous rant against inflation. What a beautiful country we live in! I will get 3 butlers, 5 cars,
  • 20 cups of green tea, and most importantly, 500 battle-ready emperor penguins. Finally, it is my time to take over the world, and lay claim to
  • the slice of banoffee pie that was so ruthlessly taken from me all those years ago. "Attack!" I cried & my battle-ready emperor penguins advanced with a "SQUARK!", which incidentl
  • -y is a very rude word in Penguinese. The emperor penguins stormed into the Automat and bought me another piece of banoffee pie, but charged my account for it, the brutes. I ate it
  • not knowing how much a ding it had put in my bank account. Later that day, when I had to pay for our tickets for the Whirl-a-Whirl, I was short the price of the pie. The penguins
  • then offered their help and suggested a heist. The idea of an ocean's eleven-esque heist with penguins seemed ridiculous until I remembered the number in my bank account. Night has
  • fallen, and I dial Havelka-6174. Penguins arrive on SHEDULE (I'm Britifh), but the Golden Girls had set the casino on fire already! We were too late. "Quack," said Montgomery.
  • "HOW HIGH SIR," a young penguin behind him asked. Montgomery turned to look at the youngling. "I said "Quack" cadet. But I like the enthusiasm." Word came that two infiltrators had
  • depleted them of their salmon. "We must get them!" quacked Montgomery. "You have no men. The infiltrators took them all" the young penguin said. Montgomery lost his mind and
  • channeled his dormant magic. He crafted a tidal wave from the Arctic sea and sent those penguins flying. Alas, he was going to make it home.

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