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"Here I am." He said with wonder in his voice

  • "Here I am." He said with wonder in his voice "The end of my rope, yet i've never felt better." He took a few more steps towards his fate "i've waited so long for this, so long...
  • The loud deisel engine of the wood chipper turns.
  • The man in the dark down jacket hoped the buzzing and grinding would all be over soon. Normally, birch was all bark but no bite, but what a birch this was!
  • It was gnarly, it was hard, the wood whorled like mahogany. A most unusual Birch. It would make a fine coffeetable, but then his saw hit something adamantane, it stuttered and
  • ground to a halt. Whatever his saw had struck, it was incredibly solid. He peered through the gash in the tree and saw the object gleaming before his eyes. He had never seen
  • a diamond the size and shape of a screech owl before. Weirder still, it began to screech. He grabbed it and stowed it away in his lumberjack shirt before the others could see
  • . The diamond shaped screech owl took this as a strange mating ritual. Hidden in the lumberjack's shirt it began to peck at his nipple and do unmentionable things to his side. He h
  • ad to chuckle, for it reminded him of the time the substitute teacher had her way with him in the custodian's closet when he was just 17. She wore round glasses. The lumberjack
  • ...a Paul Bunyan of a man...all right, I...I know that's a cliché, but it's the story direction that matters here...he was only 17 and she, with those round glasses, was 27...and
  • she reminded him of Babe the Blue Ox. Bestiality is extremely abnormal, but he couldn't deny the fact that he loved her...after the wedding, he planned on seeing a psychiatrist.

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