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However many times he tried, Juan could not

  • However many times he tried, Juan could not seem to pull it off...
  • I don't think that's the goal of self-pleasure, Juan.
  • Juan glared, disapproving of me, "what do you mean that isn't the goal of self-pleasure?" Juan continued glaring like I had offended him.
  • Punching him in the nuts offended him even more. "Well, that sure felt good. Maybe you're on to something there Juan old pal." I said. It was hard to hear his reply through his sob
  • , but then he quavered,"These nuts are a puh-puh-precious fuh-fuh-family heirloooom." "Well make some cashew butter or something" I replied,annoyed."Jeesh,I only lightly grazed em!
  • " To prove it, I tasted one. It was so salty I made a face. The upset man said, "See? My nuts will never be the same!" :Maybe it's time you branched out. Pine nuts, maybe?"
  • He was offended, I vowed to never stop there again. Each time the visit gets progressively worse and my intentions never realized. Six years is way too long for
  • my application to be finished. Clearly, this douchebag was trying to stall me.
  • So I ran passed him to try to turn my application in, he chased me into the bathroom, cornered me in a stall. This bastard was LITERALLY stalling me now. How could I
  • get outta here? I cut dismembered myself & flushed myself down the toilet, coming back together in the bosses office when I came through the drain & turned my app in & got the job.

2 Comments

  1. smashysmashy Dec 06 2015 @ 22:22

    Juan hell of a fun story.

  2. StoryNova Dec 07 2015 @ 21:16

    *rimshot*

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