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I was trying to capture the static electricity

  • I was trying to capture the static electricity in his hair. It was shooting it out in all directions and I was hoping for a spark. A little spark and I could increase the oxygen in
  • in my oxygenated crest toothpaste. The tube said that I could feel it "tingle" on my gums but I could not. But when I reached for the static electricity in his hair my hand decided
  • it was a good time to start disobeying me, and instead, it started doing a horrendous impersonation of Lady Gaga, using my fingers to shape her lips. Finally, the tingly sensation
  • was just too much to bear. And so it was that I began my journey deep into the bowels of adventure. I ran like a coward and injected my
  • neck with 100 mg of pure Epinephrine. This gave me the courage and insanity I required to complete my stunt of jumping 30 schoolbuses. I totally did it, and it was rad. My heart
  • was racing and the adrenaline soared through my body. I could do anything. 30 school buses? Shit, that was for losers. How about 50 buses filled with children strapped with
  • other children strapped with anti-dirtbikecraft missiles? I fired up my Tamaha and headed for the buses, but it suddenly shut down. My engine had a Rationality Override feature and
  • aw.. Who am I kidding. I ride a Huffy with bottle rocket launchers & a Radioshack boombox mounted to the handlebars, but hey,the other kids on the block ride Schwinns & I've kissed
  • Finns & I didn't need multiple speeds to get through the tall weeds. I was rockin' the boombox, scrapin' up the gravel rocks, my bottle rocket launchers lookin' totally staunched.
  • We kicked up the dirt as we drove off into the sunset, just two best friends, enjoying our God-given right to take our bikes off-road and open the throttle.

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