70

He slowly s l o w l y pried the cap off the

  • He slowly s l o w l y pried the cap off the 22 oz'er under his desk. A seeming success, he glanced around. Nobody noticed. Then he poured the stout into an opaque mug. Ahhh Friday.
  • Just then: "FARLEY! Get in my office NOW!" S**T! Kicking my spilled beer under my desk, reluctantly rose, pasted on a professional demeanor, and went my boss' office to find out
  • that he wasn't as mad as he seemed, and I got scared thinking it was a scheme, but my boss was happier than a dry boy in lotion, he had just offered me a very big promotion.
  • His eyes were all red and this is what he said, "I promote you Senior Executive Pot Head." Sweet Jesus I thought, I've risen to the top, now all I need
  • is a raise so I can buy more weed. As Senior Executive Pot Head, my 1st order of business was to figure out my duties which the CEO Pot Head had written on a piece of paper somewhe
  • re. Oh f*ck man, I think I smoked it. I know, let's have a board meeting and brainstorm what our company's mission is. I asked My Executive Pothead assistant to inform to board
  • my pets for the week, as I'm going on vacation. During the board meeting to uncover our company's mission, I remembered why I like meetings so much: I get to catch up on my sleep.
  • When I woke up the meeting was over. I took up sip of my coffee and realized it was cold. Then I noticed the lights were off and nobody was in the office.
  • Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a slumped body. Not only was he dead, but it was me. A cleaner came in, saw my body and screamed. I tried talking to her but she took no notic
  • e. I'm not stupid. I knew what had happened. I was happy, even. I had always wanted to know what happened to people when they... you know. Died. And so this is it. It's so soft...
Started
2013-01-25 17:00:49
Finished
2014-10-02 14:43:06

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Oct 02 2014 @ 16:25

    Promoted to Executive Pothead of the Choir invisible.
  2. Avatar

    Chaz Oct 03 2014 @ 02:01

    And now, a PSA from foldingstory: Remember kids, don't do meetings!
  3. Avatar

    49erFaithful Oct 07 2014 @ 14:37

    You're all welcome to join my Meeting Reduction Committee. It never meets.

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