Well, I don't feel like going into it but

  • Well, I don't feel like going into it but if you really must know, it happened on one of those kind of Mondays when you have to drag yourself out of bed. The alarm clock
  • was set to Hard Rock 97. Before I could hit the snooze, Anthrax hit me with "I am the Man" at ear shattering decibles. The roof of my mouth was breeding lichen. Mondays are God's
  • special days for lichen, apparently. It took me an hour of scrubbing with a toothbrush to remove it all before I could even have breakfast, and by then I was already late for
  • lunch. I was not developing a liking for lichen; this stuff must be genetically modified. It grew almost as fast as I could scrub it off my teeth. Green teeth didn't improve my
  • chances with Ms. Piggy. She hated the color green. But I pestered her and pestered her. But I was not able to crack that nut until I started managing the Muppet Show, then
  • just a third class display not even worth the crappiest theater. Once I'd gotten rid of George the janitor, the Muppets finally got on a rise. And that's when Ms Piggy became inter
  • red in a Viet Cong prison. Kermit was adamant about busting her out, but Rolf was unhappy at the prospect of being traded for Ms. Piggy as a hostage. Animal teabagged the villagers
  • and, well, it all became too much for Kermit.He escaped Viet Cong leaving both Rolf and Miss Piggy behind and rejoined the cast of Sesame Street, where he moved in with Oscar
  • the Grouch who was a raging alcoholic. Kermit had served with Oscar in Vietnam and felt he needed to help Oscar get out of his negative habits and transform his life. Sesame Street
  • , the nickname for the block of halfway homes and rehab centers for muppets, it's alleys and tenements became their new home where Oscar slowly dried out. Sweepin' the clouds away.


Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!