35

"Well," Sue said, "if you come to my flat

  • "Well," Sue said, "if you come to my flat I could give you a bowl of my very lovely mulligatawny soup and you could, maybe, eat it." The soup bribe worked and once he was sitting
  • on her big comfy couch with a bowl of her delicious soup, it started to happen. "This has got the be the best soup I ever ate," he said, slurping the last drop from the bowl. Sue
  • despised him behind her modest smile. She had been microinterpreting every nuance of his purported enjoyment of her soup. The next test for the liar on her big comfy couch would b
  • e to see if he sunk into the cushions or sat leaning forward. If he does the latter it will mean he does not find the couch comfortable, and if he says otherwise it will be a lie.
  • But what he did surprised me he lay his legs across the back of the sofa and put his head down the front edge. My back has been killing me and you have one of those inverted sofas.
  • You always aimed to please me so you hired an 80-pound masseuse to tap-dance on my back. But the masseuse struck a reflex, causing me to jerk and shoot her skyward like a rubber
  • duck shot from a rocket launcher. I watched as my masseuse entered the upper stratosphere and burst into flames. "Well, at least I won't have to pay her," you said as her ashes
  • rained down upon you. The charnel smell reminded me of my youth. My grandfather had been an Old Believer. He was born with the seasons. Having no more reason to be there I dressed.
  • That’s to say, I stripped. Put the funeral suit back in the cedar chest with the mothballs. Hid the charnel smell with Old Spice. It made the widow’s chest swell with anticipation.
  • Now with him put to rest, she could pursue her lifelong dream. She brought the carefully preserved boy-corpse out from her closet. She was going to be the best ventriloquist ever!
Started
2014-10-31 18:07:32
Finished
2020-04-23 06:27:53

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 23 2020 @ 13:51

    https://vocaroo.com/mX2WLd28JK8
  2. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 23 2020 @ 14:22

    <iframe width="300" height="60" src="https://vocaroo.com/embed/mX2WLd28JK8" frameborder="0"></iframe>
    https://voca.ro/mX2WLd28JK8" title="Vocaroo Voice Recorder" target="_blank">View on Vocaroo >>

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