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"Sir, we've deciphered the aliens message!"

  • "Sir, we've deciphered the aliens message!" The communications officer came barreling into the boardroom as all the leading generals leaned forward in anticipation. "It says
  • that Jimi Hendrix isn't dead, they've just been holding him hostage." The generals started humming Purple Haze, but the lieutenant said, "We don't negotiate with extraterrestrials,
  • we just get off on the fact that we can do anything we want to you in order to force your compliance and impose terror. See there, uh, ET - we don't take to kindly to your kind 'ro
  • har. We at that border patrol don't like any alien no matter whar they from. Just stop looking at me with those big black almond eyes and skoodle back to your aluminum frisbee.
  • When a short squat one with a lamp-shaped head whined "E.T. go home", we coaxed him onto into the Paddywagon with cattleprods and took him to the compound with the misfits:
  • the Mis Fits were the rival band to Jem and her band. The Mis Fits played a dark punk version of Over the Rainbow. ET's heart lit up the enter Paddy Wagon.
  • That's when the band Arrrrrrr! showed up. A novelty act, Arrrrrrr! play dance metal in pirate costumes. However, they could never decide who'd wear what and be all Jack Sparrow
  • Arrr!'s lead singer & the drummer had not yet pulled cutlasses about who'd be Sparrow that night, while the bassist, content in his Smee costume, just hummed bass lines to himself
  • and promised he wouldn't forget the transitions tonight. The bassist wrote them on his hands, arms and feet. Focus! He had one more night to shine. Count, you
  • need to count it in. For no other reason but to know that he was destined for much more than life afforded him in the backwater towns. Tonight he could be known as an artist.

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