"I don't want to be an adventurer anymore."

"I don't want to be an adventurer anymore." Flapjack complained. "Not after what Cap'n K'nuckles did." This whole mess started when K'nuckles bought a cat.

K'nuckles was not a cat person, but he knew that it would irritate flapjack. K'nuckles let the cat sleep on Flapkjack's pillow.

He would be sure to move the cat from Flapjack's pillow before he came to bed, but no sooner. He looked at his watch, five minutes to 10. 10 after 10, the sneezing would start,

then the itching, the rash, the incredible urge to molest the dishwasher. The webcam was set on the fridge, ready to capture the damning assault on the appliance. In 24 hours,

We humans don't know it, but appliances having feelings. The dishwasher was very frightened that I planned to molest it. Albeit, it had a plan. A good plan. It waited until I left

And then spewed out dirty water on the floor, ruining my plans to celebrate my birthday. My blender got the hiccups and refused to puree pineapple unless I diced it properly. What

of diced Cherimoya, Durian, and Kumquat? What of the Cupuacu, the Jabuticaba, the African Horned Cucumber? My blender's appetite for rare smoothie ingredients was insatiable.

And I was more than happy to retrieve these uncommon foodstuffs but then my blender started asking for items that were not accepted as food in polite society. First dog, then bald

man in a speedo. I wanted to tell my blender no, that I would not feed it living things, but it only roared louder. Finally it demanded me to climb in. That was it. I unplugged it

and climbed in, as it requested. As it was unplugged it didn't hurt me, but it still seemed content. I found the blender more comfortable than I would expect, and soon fell asleep.