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Those who sign here petition the United States

  • Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding, & begin construction of a Death Star by 2016. By focusing our defense resources on a space-superiority
  • complex. Nate signed the US petition to build a Death Star. It was just, easier, to go with the dark side. He'd given up
  • trying to do the right thing. Build a Death Star, fine. Performance enhancing drugs, great. Pure evil taking over the universe by force, sure whatever. Nate
  • absolutely refused, however, to return Leila's call. Dammit! Why couldn't she get the message?! Nate threw himself into building the Death Star, cursing all the while."Once I get
  • finished carving this pumpkin like a death star, I'm sure to get asked onto Ellen." Nate didn't high aspirations for his life. Without knowing it Nate had discovered an anti
  • christ mint candy that, once eaten, was destined to ruin the life of whoever swallowed it. And that meant Nate. So, yeah, he was a geek and destined never to get laid, but at least
  • he could blame the candy for all his problems. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I believe Nate's problem isn't his geekiness but due to a druid's curse. At the winter solstice Nate's
  • misfit group of friends gather at Stonehenge where the last druid performs a rite of questionable authenticity. He distributes "candy" to Nate and the others, and 60 minutes later
  • Nate will fall to the ground dead. This is because the "candy " is laced with cyanide, enough to drop an elephant.
  • And so the plans for Nate's assassination were set. Jeff placed the cyanide laced candy in his draw and waited. But being healthy, Nate chose to eat carrots instead.
Started
2013-01-15 10:41:03
Finished
2015-02-07 12:52:10

4 Comments

  1. Avatar

    AndrewB73 Feb 07 2015 @ 18:26

    Since when do wealthy people primarily eat carrots?
  2. Avatar

    Perronicus Feb 08 2015 @ 11:54

    No it says 'healthy'. The implication being that carrots are better for your health than candy..
  3. Avatar

    AndrewB73 Feb 10 2015 @ 07:54

    Huh. Not sure why my eyes read "wealthy". Weird. Sorry about that.
  4. Avatar

    Perronicus Feb 11 2015 @ 13:10

    hah no worries! :D

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