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Those who sign here petition the United States

  • Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding, & begin construction of a Death Star by 2016. By focusing our defense resources on a space-superiority
  • complex. Nate signed the US petition to build a Death Star. It was just, easier, to go with the dark side. He'd given up
  • trying to do the right thing. Build a Death Star, fine. Performance enhancing drugs, great. Pure evil taking over the universe by force, sure whatever. Nate
  • absolutely refused, however, to return Leila's call. Dammit! Why couldn't she get the message?! Nate threw himself into building the Death Star, cursing all the while."Once I get
  • finished carving this pumpkin like a death star, I'm sure to get asked onto Ellen." Nate didn't high aspirations for his life. Without knowing it Nate had discovered an anti
  • christ mint candy that, once eaten, was destined to ruin the life of whoever swallowed it. And that meant Nate. So, yeah, he was a geek and destined never to get laid, but at least
  • he could blame the candy for all his problems. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I believe Nate's problem isn't his geekiness but due to a druid's curse. At the winter solstice Nate's
  • misfit group of friends gather at Stonehenge where the last druid performs a rite of questionable authenticity. He distributes "candy" to Nate and the others, and 60 minutes later
  • Nate will fall to the ground dead. This is because the "candy " is laced with cyanide, enough to drop an elephant.
  • And so the plans for Nate's assassination were set. Jeff placed the cyanide laced candy in his draw and waited. But being healthy, Nate chose to eat carrots instead.

4 Comments

  1. AndrewB73 Feb 07 2015 @ 18:26

    Since when do wealthy people primarily eat carrots?

  2. Perronicus Feb 08 2015 @ 11:54

    No it says 'healthy'. The implication being that carrots are better for your health than candy..

  3. AndrewB73 Feb 10 2015 @ 07:54

    Huh. Not sure why my eyes read "wealthy". Weird. Sorry about that.

  4. Perronicus Feb 11 2015 @ 13:10

    hah no worries! :D

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