"I hereby convict you on assault to 12 weeks

  • "I hereby convict you on assault to 12 weeks incarceration."The Judge paused to let the sentence sink in.During this silence someone in the gallery let her rip,an apocalyptic fart
  • . Everyone in the courtroom gasped & looked to see who had dealt it. In that moment of diverted attention, Bob bolted, escaping from the side door & into the waiting limo.
  • "To the birthplace of communism!" he instructed the driver. As the adrenaline waned from his daring escape through the cloud of flatulence wore off, he flipped through magazines,
  • The driver was traveling along rocky roads, towards the birthplace of Karl Marx. He shouted back to his passenger, "The Birthplace of communism is right up ahead, get ready."
  • His passenger (mistaken that this trip was to the fountain of youth) jumped out of the car falling off the steep cliffs bordering the English channel. The driver was all alone.
  • He considered, for just a moment, veering off the road in pursuit of his passenger, but quickly decided against it. It was nearing tea time, and no good Englishman would miss that.
  • He immediately swerved his semi-trailer to the side of the freeway, donned his derby, and alighted from the cab. From the back of his truck he produced a table and a porcelain teap
  • "what is a teap?", Uncle Jack asked me.
  • A teap is something you make by adding P to the tea, do you understand now, my son? -What is a P, uncle Jack? +a P is something your uncle love.. Don't tell your mom but P stands f
  • for prunes! You know how your Uncle Ralph is always constipated. So he ruins her perfectly good Earl Grey Hot No Sugar by blending in some sun ripened yukky prunes. Now do you know


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