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Edwin was from Philadelphia and therefore

  • Edwin was from Philadelphia and therefore disgusted byt the recent flavored pretzel phenomenon. It was an outrage. Cheese was bad enough, but apple connamon? NO! He decided to kill
  • some time walking to his favorite pretzel stand where Carlos had always a smile and a salty treat for him,but getting there would not be easy
  • because he didn't have his Segway. How was he going to get that salty, warm, buttery, soft pretzel at the other corner without
  • transportation? What about throwing a fake seizure fit? But how would that get the pretzel to me? Wait, what if I go into seizures because of a pretzel shortage?
  • Oh that would never work. I am going to hop on the bus, not pay my fare, and if the bus driver kicks me off I will slap him. I am going to get that pretzel even if it
  • gets me next to a prisoner named Bubba Jethro whose favorite activity was forcing his initials on those silly enough to fall asleep with their mouths open. Pretzels were just that
  • strange exercise I would do sometimes in the yard, I always found it to be a nice way to limber up, but it got me the nickname of "pretty boy" around the yard. That and a sore anus
  • and flowers. I've always loved them, especially from my cellmate. One time we tried to break out of prison through a hole, but in retrospect I think it was just an attempt to
  • deal with some lingering Oedipal issues by symbolically recreating my own birth. I tried to tell Lifer Bill about dynamic repression of mother-possession urges, but he just
  • snorted into his chocolate milk and giggled. Never mind; a new day was dawning at Shady View Hospital. I was in charge now, and patients would be treated like people, not animals.

1 Comments

  1. Bad. Apr 23 2011 @ 15:14

    I totally c-c-c-combo broke the pretzel story :(

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