I was rollerblading in front of my house

  • I was rollerblading in front of my house at top speed carrying a huge pot of boiling water. Suddenly
  • my potatoes were boiled in more ways than one. I stopped mid-skate, set the pot on the ground, and removed the oil vat from my backpack to check my fries.
  • As I was checking the fries, someone skated past me, knocking over the oil vat. I watched in horror as all my fries and the oil spilled out onto the ground.
  • The chef turned slowly towards me, eyes bloodshot with rage. He fingered the edges of his steak knife. "What's all that oil doing on the ground, Jimmy?" he breathed. I blanched.
  • The knife point was now wobbling inches from my neck, and I needed an answer. "It was the robots, Chef. You know how they like to excrete liquids." A snort. "Be very careful Jimmy
  • , my pasta was nearly ruined. Do it again”, he said, waving his knife point, “and you’ll become my next meal. Understood?” I nodded so vigorously that I accidentally...
  • slammed the back of my head into the wall. I was out like a light. I have no idea how much time passed while I was unconscious. When I woke, I found myself trussed up like a pig.
  • I struggled with the ropes but whoever had trussed me knew what they were doing. The only thing missing was the lipstick or the apple. My luck, it would be both. I didn't smell any
  • better than I had before, but once they put the apple in my mouth and baked me in a hot oven for four hours, basting me at intervals, I began to smell like Thanksgiving. I didn't
  • mind, though. It was all part of my plan to conquer this planet.They consumed me & I in turn gained residence in each of them. "They" became "me". Happy Thanksgiving indeed.


  1. Woab Sep 27 2018 @ 16:23

    Hmm, the cooking theme stayed with us throughout. Nice!

  2. LordVacuity Sep 27 2018 @ 21:51

    I guess we were really cooking.

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