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it was taking longer than expected. After

  • it was taking longer than expected. After the change , Dave thought himself immune to impatience, but it was taking too long. his telescopic range had grown but
  • with inverted growth. Now everything up close looked extremely far off in the distance. Trying to reach for his girlfriend seemed like he was falling off a cliff. Driving? Forget
  • trying to touch the steering wheel. It looked miles away. The phenomenon made everyday tasks like eating feel like brain surgery, and going to the bathroom with only two hooks
  • , let's just say, unpleasant! His only hope was sessions at Double Amputees Anonymous (DAA.) They made his hooks a benifit not a curse. In right circumstances, women would
  • go weak at the knees looking at his 'golden hooks'. Other than aesthetically, they had their uses in bed too, and more often than not his DAA meetings concluded with a romp at
  • Ritzy Rico's Clamp Stamp, a rather oddly named gentlemen's club. He'd always order the buffalo wings and show off the golden hooks to his buddies. He suspected they were
  • a bunch of fakes, but they were always supportive of his efforts. He had trouble finding such a simultaneously uplifting and vacuous source of companionship elsewhere. So he was
  • content to join the Russian clog team. He and they shared no talent what so ever, but they let him be who he was, and that was enough for Cee-Lo. He quickly tucked in his
  • hammer pants (there was plenty of room inside) and started tap-dancing in his clogs as hard as he could. Unfortunately, Cee-Lo tapped his way from his Russian clog team onto ice.
  • A crack formed,bifurcated & spread like forking lighting. Maybe you think I'm crazy,but as the surface broke up everyone sank into the depths. Except Cee-Lo, the last man standing.

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