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Her smile was as infectious as the plague,

  • Her smile was as infectious as the plague, even to the boys who were told by their fathers not to ever, ever bring an Indian girl home. I didn’t care about any of that. One kiss
  • from Alanis Morissette, leader of the horse-faced people was my balm of Gilead and sweeter than a kiss from any Indian - red dot *or* woo-woo. You see, I'd been searching
  • for horse-faced people for a long time. Posiedon had created horses for Demeter, but Horse-faced people? They were made by Jerry Lewis, like Beth Ostroski, or Melissa Rivers, or
  • your mom. "That's not the way this is supposed to work!", you would say. And I'd say, "Can it, spaghetti nose! The horse-faced people have feelings too! And giant hands. And
  • you know what they say about large hands....
  • Huge gloves! Everyone stared at me and an awkward silence was created.
  • The silence continued, for hours. We were like statues. Lush, beautiful statues, with huge gloves. Gloves and alcohol. And peppermint candy. I had the last one.
  • Tracy, who had previous called dibs on the last of the candy, knocked me unconscious. Not that I had my wits about me anyway, having already consumed my weight in peppermints and
  • peyote. I really am not the best reference on the exact timeline of the evening. But I do recall that Tracy was really really upset about something, and I do still have a minty
  • air freshner in my car. But i do remember yelling, "We're in Bat Country!" Just before

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