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Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince

  • Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince who was looking for a princess to marry. He met with many,
  • and did the whole friends with benefits thing and never married any of them. It wasn't until he was 45 and tired that he thought about commitment. That's when he met Paris Hilton's
  • traumatized pet mini-pig, the only one who had managed to escape the Hilton residence without killing himself. Oh the horrors he had seen! Before escaping, he made an oath to
  • mercy double tap all toy pets. When he'd finished ridding the world of these poor abused creatures, he'd take his own life. It was a lofty goal for a former pet mini-pig, but he
  • was confident in his ability and his training. Given his ability to set goals and think critically about a problem, he figured he must have had training, despite weighing only 4 oz
  • . His mentor was Brainy Smurf. He trained him in the mastery of Smurf-fu. Inch High Private Eye showed him investigation techniques. In time he would become, "BAT MITE!"
  • Bat Fink wasn't too happy about this, but Harold could hardly pass up the opportunity to use the catch phrase he was so proud of: "Bat Mite Might Bite!" He chuckled every time.
  • Nobody else did, though. It soon started to become embarrassing, and when comedians started making jokes about the catchphrase on TV, Bat Fink knew he'd have to stop Harold saying
  • anything else. Bat got in contact with a hitman named Oscar who rattled off a price. 10,000 dollars. Cash. A little pricey, but worth it. Once Oscar was paid Bat sat back and knew
  • he would actually get the job done an his work was completed , so bat kicked his feet an let off a big sigh of relief .

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