39

My grandma always made the best chili. That

  • My grandma always made the best chili. That is, until...it...happened. The unthinkable. The unimaginable.
  • She walked into the dining room with a fresh pot of piping hot chili, a huge smile on her face. We all cheered and clapped as she approached the table. Suddenly, her ankle snapped
  • its fingers and began to sing some hot scat. "That girl's more talent in her ankle than most people got in their whole bodies," said Ella Fitzgerald, who was hungry for more.
  • While Grandma lay writing in agony on the floor, the rest of them went about scooping up the errant chili that had splattered on the wall and floor. Completely disregarding grandma
  • 's ensuing demise, they scooped all they could, then sat down to eat in uncomfortable silence. Grandma's bodily fluids seeped slowly towards them, but they just kept eating. "So,
  • how about those Packers?" they mused. The stench of bile and feces fouled the meal. So they set out for a picnic instead. They left Grandmas now stiffening body on the floor behind
  • the radiating heater in the cabin. When Joanna opened the picnic basket she saw that everything was still wet from the fall over Niagara. Grandma's body against the heater started
  • to send the smell of wet wool throughout the entire cabin. Joanna wrinkled her nose and lifted Grandma over to the couch, away from the heater. The smell lessened, but the dampness
  • increased. Condensation formed on everything and dripped down the walls of the cabin. Grandma cackled evilly. "My wet wool will be the death of you, Joanna! He-he-he-he-he!"
  • But the last laugh was Joanna's. She caught Grandma's cackle on smartcam & the family GP lost no time finding her clinically insane.At the Home she was made to clean thermal undies
Started
2016-11-08 10:16:52
Finished
2018-04-30 14:59:06

7 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Gibber Apr 30 2018 @ 15:12

    Betrix continued with Grandma's chili. Hmm.
  2. Avatar

    Gibber Apr 30 2018 @ 15:38

    This story gave me a fit of the giggles.
  3. Avatar

    Gibber Apr 30 2018 @ 19:38

    I should have left off the "he-he's" and made it "Stinky condensation."
  4. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 30 2018 @ 20:16

    In the moment, certain details take all the air out of the room. My dead grandmother cackling at my misfortune would register with me more than another stink on top of the aforementioned dead grandmother's death effluents and wet wool.
  5. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 30 2018 @ 20:17

    I bet she still makes the best chili, even dead.
  6. Avatar

    Gibber Apr 30 2018 @ 20:22

    Dead and insane.
  7. Avatar

    Woab May 01 2018 @ 12:12

    I too, cackled like a warmed-over Grandma.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!