The crossfit games have a 166% year over

  • The crossfit games have a 166% year over year growth rate!
  • People tend to quit crossfit because of how basic it is for women to join
  • I, myself wanted to join, but I didn't have any clean yoga pants. I had spilled my Pumpkin Spice Latte on my last clean pair!
  • I bravely stepped into the room wearing only my red frilly French knickers and a purple crop top that said "Hang in there, baby" across the chest. I began to stretch my legs
  • By bending over to touch my toes. I was rewarded by the by the sweet sounds of camera shutters as most of the audience took pictures of my ass. But when it was called "presenting"
  • I wanted to die of embarrassment. Had I really been that obvious? There was nothing left to do but leave the country dressed like a nun and live in a yurt in the Caucasians.
  • Who are people from Caucasus in Russia. They actually like having me live in them. I tended to keep them warm in the north Georgian winds. That was until I accidentally melted
  • Into the landscape and became a sugar maple. My foliage changed to red and orange from green and I had no watch on so there was no way to time the leaves falling randomly to the
  • beat of a different Joe Strummer. A Joe Strummer who never Clashed. In his canopy you would never find harsh foliage alongside simple variations of an Autumn palette. A steady tick
  • is the only kind of tick for me. Tick tock, and all that jazz, what, what?


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