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EVIL WAITS IN VENICE. They say this city

  • EVIL WAITS IN VENICE. They say this city is beautiful and its customs exotic. I didn't need to leave Michigan to see the world. Now it all becomes the same to me. Corruption gnaws
  • on the knobby knees of fat children. Or so my Foster Mother always said. But Venice, California really isn't as great as they say. There's smelly homeless rich kids, and Hep-C
  • isn't just a cool jam-band your older brother's cool buddy told you about. Still, nice weather and a dude playing a guitar on roller skates were solid pluses. I started a pros/cons
  • list of hitmen who'd take out our competition, the other garage band on the block, "The Conotoxins". My list was short, Francisco Scaramanga or that bald guy from Municipal Waste
  • so I decided to dance for them because that was the most sensible option to
  • choose from, out of either 'Dance' or 'Eat deep fried plutonium'. But My sister decided to eat the deep fried plutonium. So while i danced, she began
  • to hyperventilate and convulse, silver tears pouring out of her eyes and a metallic liquid leaking out of her ears and nostrils. Who eats plutonium, anyway? It's not exactly edible
  • . However, plutonium is the Russian poison of choice. Reading Chekhov has given Russians a heightened dramatic sense when it comes to bizarre deaths and didn't she know it! She clu
  • tched Uncle Vanya's brocade vest & looked deeply into his ice blue eyes before gasping, then falling to the floor.Reaching one claw-like hand to his face, she whispered, "Plutonium
  • potato salad was alright.. but easy on the the pickle juice next time" and with that, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she was gone. A single tear fell from his left eye

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