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I hardly ever wore the dark blue Dockers

  • I hardly ever wore the dark blue Dockers that hung in my closet neglected until Easter Sunday or the three hours my father reserved for sobriety during my birthday dinner.
  • Dockers, Marona and Kirkland were the generic rags that I dressed nicely in, I had grown out of my "No Fear" shirts. But my cousin Archibald
  • just doesn't get business casual. Cousin Archibald is old school preppy, down to the classic white bucks. We had no choice but to go into the
  • Ralph Lauren outlet and humor Archie for a few while he picked up some polos and a braided leather belt. The shopping really tired us out so instead of
  • meeting up with Reggie, we headed over to the Malt Shop. That Bitch Veronica was there so of course Archie got all goo goo eyes. So I broke my malt glass and lacerated his jugular
  • . As his life force ebbed, Archie's goo goo eyes looked at me. "Juggie ... why?", he cried and slumped onto the bar. Veronica screamed, and I realized that all those years Archie
  • was dying his hair. Slumped the way he was, Jughead could see Archie's silver roots. "Bastard was such a fake", he screamed at Veronica, "Look at him! See him for what he really
  • is! A Replicant!" Archie howled, his cry of anguish climbing octave by octave to a keening no human could have made. Suddenly, he lept at Jughead with murder in his robot eyes.
  • However, he failed to make note of the wooden beams used to keep the roof held together, and his metallic head connected with at least 7 of them in his leap.
  • The roof collapsed on his decapitated body. The city converted the building to his tomb, and installed a very stylish commemorative statue nearby.

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