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Talk about a bus load of trouble. This animal

  • Talk about a bus load of trouble. This animal strolls up, enters and sits down with all the other passengers like it's a
  • church pew on Christmas Eve. He hadn't worn deodorant since 1985 when he got a mean case of shingles in his
  • belly button. In Catholic school they called him "shinglebutton" because the disease would make his belly button
  • swell and pus a little bit. You could see it from outside his shirt. He was embarrassed, but even more worried about
  • what the girls of Sigma Delta Tau would think when he showed up later at their door, with that unsightly wound oozing
  • with green slime. They would be bound to find out his lifelong secret. It would ruin his family, but he really needed help. He decided to
  • call his friend, Frank. Frank would know what to do. He had things that could make other things go away. We called him 'Preparation F' for a reason. He answered on the first
  • ring and told us that he knew precisely what was to be done. First, we had to hide out on top of a hill with lots of loaded guns and remain there until help arrived. I wasn't
  • sure how to maneuver a miniature tank nor how to use the element of surprise - I failed chemistry 101 - but I decided I'd give it a try. After all, my mother used to say
  • "It's like when you don't know if it's gonna be shit or a fart, but you fart anyway. Sometimes you just need to let it rip; take a chance!" So, I did. And I gave it the gas!

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