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Having found two quarters and a nickel back

  • Having found two quarters and a nickel back in '07, I could never break the habit of checking the coin return on pay phones. I pushed the door open with my index finger and felt
  • something snap. That broke my habit of checking coin returns, but I still wonder, what was it that bit off the two fingers of my right hand. I wake up next afternoon with whiskey
  • a-go-go tickets it my pocket. What the fudge? I was partying on the sunset strip last night? It wasn't just that my fingers were gone, they'd already healed last night. Two pearly
  • nubbins poked out of the skin on my hand where my fingers had been. Huh. I wouldn't let a little thing like that slow me down. I slowly texted my friend Fat Harry to see what he
  • would like for dinner. Harry always was a greedy fellow, who'd eat almost anything. Suddenly, though, my condition got even worse: giant spiky antlers burst out of my head, and
  • I ran with the moose. Visions of Canadian venison danced in Harry's head. He grabbed a blunderbuss filled it with spiky buckeyeyes and went hunting for me his former best friend.
  • Ever since I had proved his girlfriend was mad about the China cabinet Harry had hated me even though it was me that broke the door latch on it and 3 of the stained glass windows.
  • It was a tacky old thing anyway, they should have thanked me for wrecking it. Harry's girlfriend had horrendous taste in boyfriends and in china cabinets. I told them that they
  • Should have just gotten cheap Chinese crap and not wasted their money. Harry's girlfriend was familiar with the "nur fur verruckte" designated places in town and hung out there.
  • It was there that I discover gourmet cheese balls & bacon wrapped town crackers. They spent more on snacks than nur fur. Insulting! Cheap Chinese stuff *crunch* is so *nom nom* ...

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