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Carol drives a green car.A New Bug on a shade

  • Carol drives a green car.A New Bug on a shade of green that reminds her of lettuce or new grass on a lawn deep down from a childhood memory.She always liked Volkswagens since her
  • fifth grade genealogy project showed that she was related to Hermann Goering. So she only drove VW's. Green ones. And then her bug spoke, it was Hermann the Hate Bug.
  • Hermann the Hate Bug was alive and angry. "Gib mir Kraftstoff oder ich mag dich nicht!" Honked Hermann. But Ms. Goering did not know German, and so she naively kept driving.
  • "Rechts! Rechts!" shouted Hermann the Hate Bug. Thinking he was referring to the dinosaur skeleton, Ms. Goering turned left into the museum car park. Hermann revved angrily and pro
  • pped his feet up on a centipede. "Why are you here, Lucian?" Hermann the Hate Bug wanted to know. "I came here to how you say take ze bandaid off ze wound" Lucian chuckled
  • Hermann didn't know he was in the wrong place. The sunday paper was full of interesting news stories, which Hermann could read. Lucian was relieved.
  • He was relieved of his duties as chief sturgeon egg sampler of the Tsars cavier supplier. Hermann thought Lucian had been put in his place, but Hermann was just gutting sardines at
  • the sardine cannery so that Albert Einstein could live his life for him without including him. Einstein got the Patent Office Job that in some universes had been given to Johannes
  • Vermeer, causing most of the approved inventions in that universe to include pearl earrings. There was the microwave oven with pearl earring, the hula hoop with pearl earring, and
  • a myriad of other inventions we enjoy today...all with pearl earrings! This is why June 5th will forever be known as Vermeer Appreciation Day & an official Dutch holiday!
Started
2012-04-08 12:11:36
Finished
2017-06-05 14:42:53

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jun 05 2017 @ 17:46

    Hermann, the Hate Bug LOL, MoralEnd.
  2. Avatar

    LordVacuity Jun 05 2017 @ 19:40

    Yeah, I am sorry I dropped Herman and replaced him with Johannes. Totally negates my fold.
  3. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jun 06 2017 @ 01:14

    Oh, that didn't phase me because I thought you were referring to another universe, Johannes von Gutenberg perhaps?

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