The telephone rang but I was in bed sick

The telephone rang but I was in bed sick and di not want to get up. However, what if it was someone trying to check on me? So i forced myself out of bed and across the room to get

the burrito I had just whipped up. Those Mexicans may have shifty eyes, but they possess the food of the Gods.

As it turned out, I must have sacrificed one too many pintos because Montezuma was not happy with me. I thought the guacamole would have calmed things down but in retrospect

I should have gone with Hot Salsa, and maybe even with the Fajitas. Anyway, what was done was done, and Monty furiosly ordered a counter-sacrifice, which consisted of

pimento and spray-on cheese. Monty

Hall offered the woman, dressed as a llama, the cheez-whiz appetizer, but wait! Would she prefer what was behind Curtain Number One? (Take the Cheese! No! Take the Curtain!)

She took what was behind the curtain,but the curtain was made of iron & she won an all expenses paid one-way trip to the Siberian Gulag. Fortunately her llama costume was warm

so she had an excellent chance to survive the Gulag if the cold was the only thing to beat. Unfortunately, it wasn't. Did she know how to catch game? No, since she was a vegetarian

she quickly died. But she died right on a forgotten border of where Mexico and Russia met in the ocean (it was a chilly island gulag). When they buried this vegan's body,

they used no coffin. Grass sprouted from her, weeds and dandelions, and then more Vegans ate of them. So in turn, the Vegans ate of her body. Right there on that gulag. The end.