Once upon a time there was a lion

  • Once upon a time there was a lion
  • who was cowardly. He just wanted to be petted & scratched behind his ears. The Lion sat in a field & sniffed the daisies. Meanwhile a circus trainer was searching for a ferocious
  • man-eating bad boy, that could intimidate Vinnie the Maimer who the circus was into for big bucks. The trainer mistook Dandy for such a lion, & eagerly captured him. "Saved!" he t
  • hroatily replied. The lion yawned at him and lay back against the wall for a long nap. Dandy the lion more interested in eating packaged meals that Benny the circus cook prepared.
  • Instead Dandy the lion waited for Benny the circus cook to open the cage. Then he grabbed him by the head and dragged him out into the town streets. "No more boxed meals!"
  • yelled Dandy Lion as he boxed Benny the cook's ears. "I am a lion, and I want FRESH MEAT, not some frozen Walmart garbage!" Dandy roared again. Benny swore he would do better, and
  • the lion took offense. "This is a family event. If you can't follow the script then we're gonna find someone else to play your role." Benny the cook, left without the will to live,
  • and his pride in shambles. Nobody knew where Kimba, The White Lion, was. He was the only one that could play Benny's role in this dear but sordid family event. Years later Kimba
  • Met Jack Benny and did a skit with him. Rochester drove the Maxwell and stayed silent. Kimba and Jack Benny ate at Cafe Bohemia, where the menu featured roast lion. Kimba chose the
  • more diplomatic choice and ordered the Vietnamese Long Pork Sushi and Dick Cheese Casserole. Jack Benny deadpanned into the camera and said his signature, "Well I never".


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