Oh shit, I can't believe I'm an hour early,

  • Oh shit, I can't believe I'm an hour early, damn DST. What am I going to do for the next hour. I soon found out that I didn't really have a choice the two burly men coming would
  • make parking so much easier. They came and lifted his full-sized Sedan, and next thing he knew, his full-sized Sedan became a compact. With him still in it. He wasn't all that
  • tall to begin with and now he was even shorter. At least he was alive. At least he could be comforted by the fact that he won the first ever billion dollar lawsuit. The money
  • would go to his newborn son, whom he decided to call Maxibillion, poor baby didn't stand a chance of making it through Jr. High unless he got really tough. But his now shorter Dad
  • cuddled him, cooed over him, and spoiled him rotten. Maxibillion grew up a sissy. All the kids made fun of him in school and he came home crying every day. His short Dad
  • decided that the best thing to do would be to shoot him in the backyard and forget he ever existed.
  • That really is the best an imaginary friend can hope for. A quiet shot in the back to end it all. Still, I felt that Oscar, my lifelong companion deserved more. I took aim.
  • I missed him. Maybe it was fated, who knows for sure? I sure don't; probably never will. Just then I heard a car pull up in the driveway next door. I didn't know fate, but I knew
  • the low rumble of the flat-six Corvair. Without a second thought I pulled the blinds closed and turned out the lights on the first floor. I wasn't going without a fight. With my
  • hoodie pulled tight around me, I slipped on my infra-ray goggles. Try to get the jump on me, will you? I'll show them a surprise birthday party they'll never forget.


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